Cowz n Bullz

"You got to have friends to make that day last long," sings Bette Midler but @ IIM HEL (L) u gotta have a good neighbor to make that day last long ;). And I claim myself lucky to have one such goodie goodie neighbor, Vip. It is on the record that my neighbor (read good neighbor) has put up with me for the past 3 terms:P.

In today’s fast food culture, we want it quick, sharp and now. And a very amusing thing about our way of living is our ingenious methods of filling time, known by a typical Indianism called “time-pass”. A quick time pass can be anything from the tasty snackette of the flash game on mobile, through to a full meaty meal that is closer to a game of “Cowz n Bullz”. I see a collection of these as a smorgasbord of delights.

The lectures @ our school are long and tedious and the profs don’t let you sit in peace. There is nothing sacrosanct about the break between the lectures and thus we make sure to make up for it during the lectures. Like any other day me n my neighbor were busy playing Cowz n bullz. Not that we weren’t paying attention to the lecture, we mastered the art of multi tasking by then :D (I ain’t a braggart :P).

Suddenly something struck my mind. An image flashed and then it was persistent in my eyes. Bingo!! Eh u right, the moron prof of ours caught us playing. He is intelligent I say. He pretended to create a snapshot world, to address some really ‘big’ issues in an upfront manner. His voice is something that sounds like vacuum, piercing your ears. It was almost frenzied, nail biting anticipation. When asked for an explanation, I decided to play it serious. I said so nonchalantly "We aren’t playing, we were discussing the subject-LAAA…” But hold it. He was no ninny to believe it. I bet I would have seemed to be a raconteur at that juncture. But he was comfortably numb, I looked and tried to reconcile myself as if nothing happened.

Sometimes there are obvious reasons for whom the bell tolls. Other times these hardships and heartaches show up at the most illogical doorstep. The question, “Why do you think it happened?” is the best answer you can give a person who approaches you with, “Why me?” Oh eh! This is exactly what I encountered when I asked a couple of my frenz.

The fruits of this labor are obvious: We ended up getting second lowest marks in the class despite of doing pretty decent in the exams. Never ever did I even remotely think that cowz n Bullz could turn out to be so expensive ;)

Iz jus a Li’l CRUSH!!

Liza was going to the same school as Mike. They met on the first day of the school, he was devastatingly handsome. Her heart skipped a beat when he sat down in her section.

"Hi," she croaked. He looked up surprised.
"Hello," he said.
She almost fainted. His voice was just as angelic as he looked. He had gorgeous black eyes, black hair, and a silky smooth face without a trace of stubble. Stop staring! She tried to turn her eyes away from his perfect profile and focused on his bright blue shirt. She loved men in formals.

"Nice shirt," she said. Her face flushed as soon as the words left her lips.
He chuckled. "Thanks."

"Be cool, be cool, be cool. He's too perfect," she said disappointingly. For some reason they didn’t talk much, all they did was say Hi to each other.
Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months and it was time for the term to end.
"If you don't hit on him, I will," her friend said and smirked. She bit her lip. She looked into his eyes she wants to tell him that she like him but she could not.

She spent that night curled up in front of the television and watched re-runs of "Friends" and killing half a bottle of gin. She wasn't an alcoholic by any means. She knew her limit and it had not yet been tickled. She then stepped into the shower and let the hot water wash over her. Later on she crashed and was haunted by a voice “You have to start dating again before you're old and ugly!”
She slowly stirred on the couch and opened her eyes. "Awww!!," she moaned. She rubbed her eyes then ran to the bathroom. She was already running late for school and it was going to be a long day.

She was all excited to see him and just could not take her eyes off him. He stared back at her unphased then took his cell phone out of his bag. He called someone really quickly and said something in French. Then, he got up and walked out the door without a glance back in her direction. Her body flamed. She knew that she didn't look her best today but that was pretty harsh. She controlled her breathing, and then went to the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face.

As the graduation day for the seniors arrived it is time to decide the partners for the Prom and it was a random allocation. Lisa and Mike happened to be the partners. Knowing this, she shrieked with excitement, her hangover long forgotten.
When the night finally arrived, she pulled out an old "little black dress" from the back of her closet and threw on a pair of pantyhose. She recruited stylist to do her hair and makeup which ended up looking fabulous.

He came to pick her up and greeted her with a hug. She froze in awe. “Looking pretty sweetie”, He said and smiled a hypnotizing smile. It was cheesy but she was impressed. She then nervously blabbered smiling to herself.

"Look at you! You can't stop smiling!” he said. She blushed and bit her lip, trying to hide her grin. She failed though.
She then got into the car and scrambled through the magazines until he started off the conversation.

"I was going to call you earlier but some personal business came up," he sounded stressed.

Lisa was being her usual dramatic self. Apparently, she was oblivious to this though.
They finally reached the prom. It got quieter in the ballroom with their arrival and she noticed a few eyes turn her way. Her face burned. In the backseat was an immaculate looking young woman (Wendy). She was on her cell phone. She seemed to be arguing with whoever was on the other end. Lisa couldn't help staring at her.
Suddenly she noticed people guzzle the beer and looked around to find him.
He was already on it, filling two martini glasses with deliciousness. She grabbed one and took a sip.

"And who's this cutie?" Wendy asked referring to Lisa. Lisa’s polite smile dimmed slightly. She was not aware of the sarcasm in it.

Wendy bear hugged Mike and he could not let go off her arms.

Lisa raised a perfectly arched eyebrow, walked away and grimaced. If he didn't think she was whacked out earlier, he definitely knew it then. She was so embarrassed, she didn't go back to check on him until he was finished.
"My jaw dropped," He sighed.

He managed to get to where Lisa was and told her that she is her ex-Girl friend who dumped him. “She is a bitch but i am just trying to be nice to her,” he said.
“I think I get the gist of the story," she said sickened. What a snob, she thought.
After the not so very great party, they were on their way and Mike decided to sit by the waterfront for a while.

“How you liked the place?” he asked."Well," She responded coyly, "she doesn’t really know where to start."His eyes fixated on her. His hair gleamed under the streetlight and he looked even more angelic, she muttered to herself. She just started off asking if he is seeing someone lately. There was silence in the air. A conversation like that was worth putting off. The curiosity was killing her. He chuckled then and thought seriously.

"When I saw you in the school," he began, "it was like...like you made everything brighter, enchanting, almost. I thought, wow, I have to meet this girl."
She was awestruck. No one has ever called her enchanting.

They silently sipped their coffee for a while, taking in their surroundings. Couples hand in hand and googly-eyed walked past them. It was a romanticist's dream.
They talked most of the night. Time flew by and before they knew it, there were only a few couples left at the waterfront watching the bonfires dim.

"We better get going," She said disappointingly. "I'm sure you have a busy day ahead of you tomorrow."
"Tomorrow's Sunday," he smiled.
"Oh, right," she stammered.

She told him about her family. She was an only child. “My parents weren't bad people, just old-fashioned,” she said.
He dropped her off right by the car, again running around to open the door. She stepped out carefully and stood in front of him.

Would he kiss me? Should I hug him? Peck him on the cheek? She panicked.
"I had a great time," he said.
She smiled and looked up at him.
Slowly, he leaned down. She closed her eyes. Then, she felt his warm lips press softly against hers. Time stopped and she was completely captivated. It was the perfect kiss.

She waited until she saw his headlights disappear before she screamed in delight .Her knees almost buckled! She turned away quickly and walked into the room to calm herself down.

Next day she woke up completely refreshed and Mike immediately popped in her head. He looked amazing last night. She couldn't wait to see him again.
She stretched her arms and yawned, satisfied.

He is just not that into you....

On Women’s day, herez Something for all the women and may be for the men who are a sport :P....

We all wish we could have that fairy tale relationship, where we indeed live happily ever after. One of the biggest problems with relationships is it takes time to determine if it’s real or not. Your view on the relationship may not necessarily be the same view as the man you’re going out with. You may be in love and for him it may be a simple case of lust or an opportunity to take advantage of you.
I say that you should never give your heart to anyone who has not earned it. I stand behind those words. If you are not careful you could find yourself giving away much more than just your heart to the wrong guy.

We all know that the heart can be broken and over time it will heal. However, women have been known to allow the wrong men to put them into bankruptcy or worse positions. This type of situation can take a longer time to heal and can cause headaches for years to come. Long after you rid yourself of his sorry ass, you’ll still have to deal with his aftermath. So why don’t we take a close look at “How to know if he’s just using you”, hopefully this will keep some of you safe at least from men who just want to take advantage of you.

To begin with all relationships should be 50/50. That to me says that whatever you do for him, he should not only be willing, but capable of doing the same for you. That covers everything from bringing you lunch at work if you cannot leave your desk because you’re so busy. Women do this for men all the time and think nothing of diving across town to take your man something to eat. However, how many of you ladies have a man that does that for you? Not just in the beginning of the relationship when he was trying to impress you with kindness, but now ten months later?

He constantly tells you that he doesn’t have time but his cell phone is always on. However, if it does get turned off, he conveniently shows up at your house and after a marathon love making session he talks you and explains it to you the reasons why he couldn’t call you. However, this type of guy always makes plans to spend time with you and for whatever reason he calls to tell you he cannot make it, or that he fell asleep or some other lame excuse. . This is the so called ONE who stops by once a week or so with a million and one excuse about why he hasn’t been by or called you. After telling you another lie, his charm and smile disarm you and sweet talk you into bed yet once again. Once he’s done because he damn sure doesn’t care if it’s satisfying for you, he’ll tell you another good lie, promising to call you when he gets home (which he won’t) or he’ll come take you some where tomorrow (another good lie). Hey, but what does he care? He got what he came for and he knows that you’ll be angry for a few days when he doesn’t show up or call you. But you’ll be happy when he pops up again and forget why you were mad in the first place. He’ll continue to make you feel good with his great story telling, talk you into bed again and be off to who knows where. When you really get mad at him he’ll concede and maybe take you to a movie or McDonald’s. Then it’s back to your place to hit the sack and then he’s gone again. This pattern will continue until you put a stop to it by replacing him in his absence.

If he doesn’t open doors for you, carry things for you, fix things for you, consistently make sure you’re satisfied both in and out of bed, chances are he’s really not in love with you even though he says that he loves you. If you are not his first priority then he is not in love with you. However that doesn’t mean you cannot get there, it just means that there is a chance that when he does reach this point, you may no longer be in love with him. Life is funny this way; we generally discover we are in love with someone when it’s too late. Love is consistency, it’s not whenever we choose, it always or not at all.

Women have the same needs, wants and desires as men do. Unfortunately men are able to separate sex and love in their minds. For men sex at times is simply a release an enjoyable one at that and to be honest at times it doesn’t matter if it’s you or your girlfriend that assists in him obtaining that release. Having sex with a man will not make him love you, and women have been falling for this trick for centuries. He loves with his head first (the one on his shoulders) and his heart second. If he see an opportunity to have sex with you because you have made it known that you really like him, he may take the opportunity to achieve a release but in the end that’s all it is. What most women fail to understand is that when you make yourself readily available to the whims of a man you fancy he cannot respect you because his real fear is that he is not the first or the last that you’ve slept with simply because you thought you liked the way he looked or carried himself.

To forgive is divine. To continue forgiving when the pattern of lying, cheating, stealing and abuse does not change is insane. However, there is a point we need to realize that they will not change and the situation for us to continue to forgive is becoming unhealthy. Each situation is different, but we as adults need to be able to look at our mates actions and grade them honestly. If the future looks more like the past then it’s time to move on. Spending your nights laying in bed crying yourself to sleep, or being unable to eat because of the actions of someone whom professes their love for you is not worth the heartache you suffer.

As women you are always going to be known as being caring, trusting, understanding creatures. There is nothing that says that you cannot also be safety conscience. Protect yourself and make dating a good experience even when it fails, learn something from each and every man you go out with so you never make the same mistake twice. History is filled with stories of women whom have fallen victim to men who have used them into the poor house. I’m sure some of you know firsthand of stories of lies and deceit that ended in tragedy. Be careful and protect yourself. Always remember this, “if it seems like he’s using you, and you feel like he’s using you. You’re being used!” Save yourself the headaches and drama and seek out adult relationships with men, not boys. Men who are capable of taking care of you on the same level you will take care of him.

Don’t waste your precious time on anyone whom cannot take care of himself or refuses to take care of you. If you feel you need to have someone around you at all times and you hate being alone, get a cat or a dog for company. Dogs are great; they could teach men a lot about what all women deserve, unconditional love!

HICCUPS!!

Many a times we come cross woman and a man who have turned their backs on one another in anger. The man stands with has his arms crossed over his chest, scowling and looking very stubborn. The seated woman seems more upset than angry. This is an obvious case of conflict. It can represent a disagreement, an argument, a misunderstanding, a clash, a difference of opinion, not seeing eye-to-eye, and opposing points of view. There’s also an obvious lack of communication showing in this, so I’d say it can also represent a standoff, holding out until one’s needs or desires are met, giving or getting the cold shoulder treatment, or a reluctance to talk things out to resolve a situation. I bet this would have happened with almost everyone around. And eh I myself is one among them too :)

Usually I share with my close friends many other things about myself like who I really am and how different I am from the first impression the world makes of me. I wouldn’t say it unless I mean it.I have always made myself clear as much as possible and people still misunderstood me! And that’s why I am sitting here all by myself, writing and wiping away the teardrops falling from my eyes on my lappy. It’s unbelievable how a misunderstanding that is worth not even a speck of dirt from my shoe could wipe off a broad and blushing smile that was worth the titanic. I don’t see why I have to go through these sorrowful moments in life when I don’t even know why I’m here? Living a life! Am I here to make guys get misunderstood? Am I here to bear the loss of friends and all the misery in the world? Why am I here? And then what surprises me even more is that God made survival a human instinct! So, that makes me scared of death!

I wish wishes came true! Then I would be with my someone and have all I want! You know, it’s a nice thought and it brings a half smile on my face (one of those that Mona Lisa has?) But, it brings me back to reality. I tried avoiding tiffs and still went through it. It wasn’t my fault even! Just a little misunderstanding.

Misunderstandings always break things.

My friends and I don’t get enough time to spend together. Now I have more reasons to cry. I got up this morning with a smile. One of those charming, broad, blushing smiles that go from one cheek bone, all around your forehead to the other! And all it took to rub it off was a misunderstanding? It reminds me of John Newton’s famous line, “I once was lost but now I’m found,”And to top it all, I’m just supposed to cry myself to sleep! I’m supposed to be proactive. I am not supposed to rub off my bad mood on others! I feel like running away to a far off land where people are considerate. Where people are nice. Where I’ll find my clone.

Some day I will look back and say…”whoa… I had a great life”. I don’t know if others get that feeling of security! But, I don’t and I want to.
I would like to quote few lines of Collins’ misunderstanding which aptly describes the latest misunderstanding I had with one of my friends

“Well I'd been waiting for this weekend,
I thought that maybe we could see a show,
Never dreamed I'd have this feeling,
But seeing you is believing,
That's why I don't know why,
You didn't show up that night,
There must be some misunderstanding,
There must be some kind of mistake,
I was waiting in the rain for hours,
You were late” –Phill Collins

People would ask “what help does sitting all by yourself and brooding away do?” I don’t know… it helps me calm down. But, you know what? I’d rather not calm down. When I calm down, I feel weak. Like I had lost in the battle of life and I am not weak! I am not weak. In fact I’m strong. I’m taking the load of something I didn’t mean to happen. That’s why I am sitting all by myself and brooding away. I wish I could just lie down and let the stars and the moon suck out all the pain like a suction pump that sucks out all the dirt from the hole in the sink. And when I’d get up, I’d be happy, serene, calm, satisfied and have that feeling of wanting to live life even without a purpose. I could wish all I want, but t won’t happen. I could dream all I want, but that misunderstanding will still not go away. It will linger around me like a fly around a candle. And me? I will burn, burn all my anger out. How? By living my unfair life!

Little Frivolous thingies….

When I was a kid, friendship was about finally getting that one toy I've wanted all year long from a friend. When I grew older, it was about finally getting that one big item that I've been craving for since all season. Now that I'm a bit older and (hopefully) wiser, I'm beginning to think that maybe that perfect gift is not about getting that big ticket item, but about getting that little frivolous something that will make you smile and not turn you off. When I say frivolous, I do not mean something completely useless. It has got to be something that little something that I've been meaning.

If I had to name few things (read frivolous things…) that turn me off, the list would comprise of lies, duplicity, failing to keeping up the word….. oh! eh, at times they are seamlessly interwoven. I am highly sensitive to these and seem to be carrying a heavier burden, might be just because of my perspective which is developed every day from a laundry list of sources. What makes these elements so sensitive is that everyone is guaranteed to explode into a major argument when questioned. Trust me I did experience this many a times…

To quote one , Of late X says “I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear.”
Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what X was really thinking at the time. Lies and plethora of them huh!! Guess what X was also bemoaning his inability to remember the promises (promises as simple as a treat, movie etc) he made. Ugh!!! Keeping up the promise might be tough but not remembering them is half a promise broken. Heights of duplicity, Boy!! I am nonexistent the rest of the time X is with his friends. Yep! these small things do matter a lot for me(I’M NOT ADVERTISING, this is an integral part of my story!).

My thoughts wandered. I waited for things to change….. bt…Stupid clumsy me.