Akka, Bava n the trip

It has been more than two weeks since I am in B’lore and I have not reached the expected level of enthusiasm about the planned summer activities. Akka decided to come over for the weekend and I wanted to make the best of the plans. Bava promised to take us to Mysore on Akka’s perennial plea. The morning we were to leave, I woke up at 6:30 A.M in my own bed with Akka sleeping soundly beside me. I tried to wake her up but she continued to snooze.My right foot was stuck to the sheet, and there was a pillow under my left foot. I yanked my foot loose from the sheet, and sat up on the side of the bed while being careful not to drag. Then I tossed the sheet back over her and fell asleep again. There was someone at the door and only then did I realize that it was 8 A.M and Bava was all geared up for the trip. In no time we got ready, stuffing bava’s backpack with Chocolates, Camera, hair brush (I wish there was Gatorade and granola bars).

Here we are fashionably dressed for the trip. But the white Capri accentuated my burnt leg.
We are seated in the car and waiting for the chauffer to start. Excited talking about what lays ahead for us. We picked up Akbar on our way. Bava, sitting on the couch with tightly laced sneakers on his feet doesn’t seem to be as excited as we were. It was 10:30 in the morning when my stomach began to growl and complains of emptiness. There’s a MTR hotel on the corner of the street. I thought I would break into the hotel, but my stride was smooth as yogurt without the fruit.

After a sumptuous B’fast, we set off to Tippu’s Tomb. When I stepped out of the car, the summer heat enveloped me in an inferno. They say it's a dry heat, but when it gets to 40 degrees it's just plain fucking hot. If you have never been to Mysore in the summer let me help you understand what it feels like. First preheat your oven to 450 degrees. Next open the door and place a small powerful fan directly in front of the oven blowing outward. Take off all your clothes while standing in front of the fan, and rub your exposed skin with sandpaper. (Atleast this is how I felt).Welcome to Mysore!!

Akka seemed to avert her downward gaze as she passed just as Bava tried to move his own eyes elsewhere, anywhere, back to the shimmering walls but the sun didn’t seem resting. A pure smile is what they exchanged. As it got hotter we have decided to get out of there.

As per our chauffer’s suggestion, we have been to the so called “The-Best” restaurant. A middle-aged, curly-haired steward slid open the door. "Can I help you?" he asked. He barely noticed the first few that passed him. An elegant middle aged woman with long brown hair appeared from the hallway, and glanced in my direction. I didn’t heed as the aromas of baked bread, fresh sliced meats, and bleach surround me. Akbar and Akka seemed to be busy with the pretty-yellow flowers on the table (oh eh they were playing the fool around). Bava wasn’t seen in the vicinity of our eye-sight. He just had a mouthful of the grilled fish and left to the waiting area.

Two black leather sofas were pressed against the wall of the tiny waiting area. The walls were a light shade of yellow, and the color scheme made bava feel nauseous. Psychotic patients must feel right at home. He started to sweat profusely, and he was. As perspiration trickles down the side of his face, he was fine after he has thrown up.

Shopping mode kicks in. Akbar and Akka have been to the local internet café to book air tickets. We are off to the local shops. Important need is a gift for Akka. Underlying need – there must be a sale that is pleading to us. “We have just what you need and at the perfect price.” said the shopkeeper of the handicrafts shop pointing towards a beautifully carved dining table. Bava was so carried away with the deal and the table that he was almost ready to shell out 50 grands and get the table. It took lot of effort to hold him back from doing so. After an hour’s search for the gift, we finally manage to get a sandal bookmark and an idol of Lord Ganapati for Akka, wrapped up in the finest of the wrappers available.

We then left to the palace. Huuuuugggeeeeee!!!! hottttttttttttt!!! Is all that could say about the palace and the climate respectively. There were many small local stores around the palace.

What happens when the need is a Gooseberry? You know the kind in those small bins. Bright neon yellows. The kind that taste sweetish-sour. Have the potential to damage on their own accord. Did need play a part in this purchase? Bava thought the smirk on my face made the purchase essential, but postponed.
A zillion thoughts crossed my mind; I’ve never been this way before. Don’t give me flak for them. Felt like a big truckload of shit. Bava could smell that things weren’t the same and kept asking me the reason.

“For your information I’ve been incredibly perfect…..”

“Screw you, I’m the normal one and you’re the freak.”

I could say the former to him but wished to say the latter. The waiting game begins. There is consistency with inconsistency. Bava began the mental exercise during the few blocks it took to walk to the car. The weary anticipation the same on this day as it was when we had a tiff. Akbar drew back, grinning and not in the least bothered. We rushed through Chamundi hills and Nandi hills as Akka had to board the flight @ 10 P.M.

On our way back, lowering sun, full and hot on Bava’s face working in perfect concert with the cool evening breeze crossing him from the side and he felt the warm surge of confidence men feel when they know their goal can be hard. He admired himself and the changes he had made these past few days.
Sitting in the car, I furiously picked up my phone and started calling my friends. He glanced up and seemed to be mildly annoyed by my long duration phone calls. I apologized for interrupting his busy evening.

The traffic on the highway was light at 6:30 in the evening which allowed the chauffer to put the pedal to the floor of the car. Upon reaching cruising speed of 100kmph the valves were making a clattering noise and in less than five minutes it started raining cats and dogs.
Owing to the traffic the chauffer drove very slowly, he kept getting phone calls or messages.

As it was getting late, Akka turned to Bava in complete panic. “Adaptability is crucial” said Bava holding Akka in his arms.
“Make the phone call to Customer care and talk about the ticket” said Bava. A couple of calls got disconnected and another pointlessly frustrating phone call with the customer care guy, pulling huge bills from his pocket with each minute….. "Poof". Akka has lived this rollercoaster on more than one occasion. Finally we could manage to defer the ticket. Thanks to Akbar’s charming smile and cool even in that state of panic which was a like an ice cream on a hot brownie
We have to make a stop at the pharmacy. Akbar and I were passengers on this trip. We needed nothing. This struggle elicits giggles. So now we had giggles, a cancelled flight ticket, a deferred flight ticket, two men and two females – neither more skilled than the other.

We are oblivious to any onlookers. The clumsiness we share has been established in other situations.
Best bet just join the giggling and become part of the rolling mess.
Akka and Bava are a combustible combination.
At last we settled into our seats. Perhaps embarrassment should have taken over. There is this common bond we have that says, "These kinds of things happen to me all the time". The shared knowledge dismisses any unpleasant thoughts and we focus on the delights of the trip.
The much-anticipated trip must come to an end. It is time for us to head to MarthaHalli, return to our respective homes and live life, as we know it. We promise this will be the first of many more to come. We are dropped off at the apartment.